Sexual excitement has become more important than spiritual intimacy, emotional connection, or honoring each other. The desire to watch pornography is a clear sign that priorities have gone awry. When we allow lust, sexuality, or any desire to control us, we have handed over the lordship of our lives to something other than Jesus. God expects us to exercise self-control in all areas of life, including sexuality (Proverbs 25:28 1 Corinthians 7:9). They are there to guard our families and our own hearts. God’s parameters for sex are for our safety and well-being. Watching pornography is giving Satan permission to infiltrate our thinking, damage our hearts, and call “dirty” what God calls “very good” (Genesis 1:26–31).

If seeing the nakedness of other people is required to desire sex with one’s spouse, then that is lust. Lust is an overwhelming desire for something God has forbidden (Proverbs 6:25). The third and most obvious reason that watching pornography is always wrong, whether with a spouse or alone, is that the motivation to do so is lust (Colossians 3:5 Matthew 5:28). There is no way to let your heart feast upon vile, pornographic images and remain pure enough to see God. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). Nothing about that is in any way pleasing to the Lord. It’s as if one is saying, “My spouse is not sexy enough, so I have invited a sexier stranger to help things along.” The spouses may be touching each other’s bodies, but they are visually touching the bodies of adulterous strangers. Watching pornography with your spouse is a form of virtual adultery. It creates a virtual threesome while you may never think of participating in a ménage à trois in the flesh, you are doing so in your minds. Romans 1:32 can apply here, as it describes the downward moral spiral of those who oppose God: “Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.”Īnother negative aspect of watching pornography with a spouse is that to do so invites strangers into your bedroom. And those who enjoy watching pornography are participating in that abuse. Those who harden their hearts to such a degree that they can commit such private acts in front of spectators are abusing God’s design. God designed this intimacy for a husband and wife only (Matthew 19:5 Ephesians 5:31). By definition, pornography involves at least two unmarried people engaging in illicit sexual behavior in front of a camera.

First of all, visual pornography takes a sacred, intimate union and makes it a spectator sport. Yes, viewing pornography is a sin for many reasons, even when viewed with one’s spouse. We know that lust is condemned in Scripture (Job 31:1 Matthew 5:28), but if the sexual relationship is limited to a husband and wife, is watching pornography with a spouse wrong? Pornography appeals to the lust of the eyes and the lust of the flesh. Some couples feel the need to make their sexual relationship more exciting and believe that watching pornography together increases their enjoyment of their own sexual relationship. Even Christian couples sometimes wonder if pornography can have a redeeming factor if it is viewed with a spouse as part of their private relationship. With the prevalence of the internet and the lowering of society’s moral standards, pornography is becoming an ever-present reality for many people.

My wife gets off on porn